Thor : Ragnarok , 2017 (2)

You mean cheating?

Were they wearing one of these

when you won?

How'd you arrive here?

Quinjet.

Yes. Now, where is the Quinjet now?

That's naked.

He's very naked.

It's in my brain now.

Quinjet.

Yes!

I'm getting us out of here.

This terrible, awful place.

You're gonna love Asgard.

It's big. It's golden. Shiny.

Hulk stay.

No, no, no. My people need me

to get back to Asgard.

We must prevent Ragnarok.

Ragnarok?

The prophesied death of my home world.

The end of days, it's the end of...

If you help me get back to Asgard,

I can help you get back to Earth.

Earth hate Hulk.

Earth loves Hulk. They love you.

You're one of the Avengers.

One of the team, one of our friends.

This is what friends do.

They support each other.

You're Banner's friend.

I'm not Banner's friend. I prefer you.

Banner's friend.

I don't even like Banner.

"I'm into numbers and science

and stuff."

Thor go. Hulk stay.

Fine.

Stay here.

Stupid place. It's hideous, by the way.

The red, the white. Just pick a color.

Ridiculous.

Smash you.

You didn't smash anything.

I won that fight.

- I smashed you.

- Yeah, sure, sure.

- Baby arms.

- What?

Baby.

Moron! You big child.

Thor go!

I am going.

Thor go again.

Thor home.

Hulk trains.

That's great. Have fun.

- Hey, big guy.

- Angry girl.

What have you been up to?

Winning.

Heimdall, I know you can see me.

I need you to help me.

Help me see.

I see you, but you're far away.

What's going on here?

Come see for yourself.

I'm providing refuge in a stronghold

built by our ancestors.

But if the garrison falls,

our only escape is Bifrost.

You're talking about evacuating Asgard?

We won't last long if we stay.

She draws her power from Asgard

and grows stronger every day.

Come on.

Hela is ravenous.

If I let her leave, she'll consume

Nine Realms and all the cosmos.

We need you.

I'm working on it. But I don't even know

where the hell I am.

You're on a planet surrounded

by doorways. Go through one.

- Which one?

- The big one.

Thor sad.

Shut up.

Thor sad.

I'm not sad, you idiot.

I'm pissed off!

Angry. I lost my father.

I lost my hammer.

- Whining and crying. Cry like baby.

- You're not even listening.

Don't kick stuff.

You're being a really bad friend.

You bad friend!

- You know what we call you?

- No.

We call you the stupid Avenger.

You're tiny Avenger!

What, are you crazy?

Yes.

You know what? Earth does hate you.

No.

I'm sorry I said those things.

You're not the stupid Avenger.

Nobody calls you the stupid Avenger.

It's okay.

You just can't go around throwing shields

at people. Could have killed me.

I know. I'm sorry.

I just get so angry all the time.

Hulk always, always angry.

I know.

We're the same, you and I.

We're just a couple of hot-headed fools.

Yeah, same.

Hulk like fire, Thor like water.

We're kind of both like fire.

But Hulk like real fire.

Hulk like raging fire.

Thor like smoldering fire.

Hulk, I need you to do something for me.

Angry girl.

What's going on? What are you...

You're so thick-headed

that you can't tell

when someone's hiding all the way across

the universe and wants to be left alone?

- We need to talk.

- No, you wanna talk to me.

I need her to stay.

Stay?

Block.

Stay.

- Please.

- Please.

All right.

Here's the deal.

I'll listen to you

till this is empty.

Asgard is in danger and

people are dying.

We need to get back there.

I need your help.

Finished. Bye.

Odin is dead.

Hela, the Goddess of Death,

has invaded Asgard.

If Hela's back,

then Asgard's already lost.

I'm going to stop her.

- Alone?

- Nope.

I'm putting together a team.

It's me, you, and the big guy.

No. No team. Only Hulk.

It's me and you.

I think it's only you.

Please, listen.

The Valkyrie are legend.

Elite warriors of Asgard

sworn to defend the throne.

I'm not getting dragged into

another one of Odin's family squabbles.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Your sister.

Her power comes from Asgard,

same as yours.

When it grew beyond Odin's control

she massacred everyone in the palace

and tried to seize the throne.

When she tried

to escape her banishment

he sent the Valkyrie in

to fight her back.

I only survived because...

Look, I already faced her once

back when I believed in the throne,

and it cost me everything.

That's what's wrong with Asgard.

The throne, the secrets,

the whole golden sham.

I agree.

Don't get familiar.

I agree.

That's why I turned down the throne.

But this isn't about the crown.

This is about the people.

They're dying

and they're your people, too.

Forget it.

I have.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Good. Great.

- Great.

Thank you.

- For what?

- For this.

Didn't see that, did you?

There... That's better.

You know, go ahead.

Stay here and enslave people

for that lunatic.

Keep drinking, keep hiding.

But me...

I choose to run toward my problems

and not away from them.

Because that's what...

Because that's what heroes do.

Friend stay!

Yes!

All right.

Come on.

Welcome. Voice activation required.

Thor.

Access denied.

Thor, son of Odin.

Access denied.

God of Thunder.

Access denied.

Strongest Avenger.

Access denied.

Strongest Avenger.

Access denied.

Damn you, Stark.

Point Break.

Welcome, Point Break.

Friend stay!

No, no, no!

Stop!

Stay!

Hulk, stop breaking everything!

Don't go!

Nice work, big guy.

We don't know where Ultron's headed,

but you're going very high, very fast.

So, I need you to turn this bird around,

okay?

We can't track you in stealth mode,

so I need you to help me out. Okay?

I need you to...

No! No, Banner!

Oh, jeez.

Banner.

Hey, hey, hey.

You all right, Banner?

Sun's going down. Sun's going down.

That's it, breathe.

I won't hurt you.

Sun's going down.

- Thor.

- Yeah.

What happened to your hair?

Some creepy old man cut it off.

- It looks good.

- Thanks.

Where are we? How's Nat?

- Nat is good, I'm sure.

- Is she okay?

- And what about Sokovia?

- Sokovia?

The city, Sokovia. Did we save it?

- Banner, listen.

- What?

Sokovia. Ultron. That was two years ago.

What are you saying?

What?

I've been Hulk for two years?

I'm afraid so.

What the hell happened?

Banner, there's something

you should know.

Voice activation required.

Banner.

Welcome, strongest Avenger.

What?

Ship's log.

Thor, where are we?

Yeah, about that.

Sakaar, hear ye.

Attention please. I have some bad news.

My beloved exalted champion

has turned up missing.

Take to the streets.

Celebrate my champion.

Who's that?

He kind of runs the place.

You actually lived at his house

for awhile.

- I did?

- Yeah.

Quite a lot's happened.

You and I had a fight recently.

- Did I win?

- No, I won. Easily.

Doesn't sound right.

Well, it's true.

It seems that that criminally seductive

Lord of Thunder has stolen him away.

Seductive God of Thunder.

We need to move.

Oh, no.

This is bad.

This is really, really bad.

Thor, I think I'm freaking out.

No, no, no.

Don't freak out. You're okay.

Put these on.

These are Tony's clothes.

- I know, come on.

- Is he here?

No, he's not here.

But listen. Just stay calm, okay?

The sun's going down. The sun's getting

really low. Sun's going down.

I'm upset!

I'm very upset.

You know what I like about being upset?

The blame.

Right now, that's the mindset that I'm in.

And you know who I'm blaming?

- Grandmaster, I can...

- Hey!

Don't interrupt me!

Here you go.

Why are you handing me

the melt stick?

He was interrupting.

That's not a capital violation.

Where was I?

My precious champion

has come up missing,

and it's all because of that

Lord of Thunder. It's all because of him.

Your brother.

Whatever the story is.

Adopted, or complicated, or you know.

I'm sure there's a big history.

And your contender...

My dear friend,

if you were to give me 12 hours, I could

bring them both back to you. Alive.

I could do it in two.

I could do it in one.

Let's stop there.

You know what? I woke up this morning

thinking about a public execution.

But for now,

I'll settle for this sweet little

"Who's gonna get him first?"

So, you're on the clock.

What have you done?

I don't answer to you, lackey.

It's Loki.

And you will answer to the Grandmaster.

Why would you help my brother escape

with that green fool?

I don't help anyone.

You're a Valkyrie.

I thought the Valkyrie had all died

gruesome deaths.

Choose your next words wisely.

I'm terribly sorry.

Must be a very painful memory.

The sun's going down.

It's getting really low.

The sun's going down.

It's getting real low.

Oh, shoot.

- Sun's getting low.

- Would you stop saying that?

I just need you to stay calm.

Calm? I'm on an alien planet!

It's just a planet.

You've been on a planet before.

Yeah. One.

Now you've been on two.

That's a good thing.

It's a new experience.

My neurons, they're firing faster

than my brain can handle the information.

The whole thing

is totally different this time.

In the past, I always felt like Hulk

and I each had a hand on the wheel.

But this time, it's like he had the keys

to the car and I was locked in the trunk.

All right, well, you're back now.

That's all that matters.

No, it's not what matters.

What I'm trying to tell you, is that

if I turn into the Hulk again,

Banner may never come back.

And we're stranded on a planet

that is designed to stress me out.

We're not stranded. I'm gonna figure out

a way to get us home.

Thank you.

Not your home, though. Asgard.

My home.

What?

Listen, my people are in great danger.

You and I, we have to fight

this really powerful being,

who also happens to be my sister.

Okay, that is so wrong on so many...

I don't wanna fight your sister.

That's a family issue.

No, she's an evil being.

I don't care what she is.

I'm not fighting any more beings.

I'm sick of it.

- What?

- I just told you.

If I turn into the Hulk,

I am never gonna come back again.

And you don't care.

No, no. I'm putting together the team.

The Hulk is the fire.

Wait, you're just using me

to get to the Hulk.

- What? No!

- It's gross.

You don't care about me.

You're not my friend.

No! I don't even like the Hulk.

He's all like...

"Smash, smash, smash."

I prefer you.

Thanks.

But if I'm being honest,

when it comes to fighting evil beings,

he is very powerful and useful.

Yeah, Banner's powerful and useful, too.

Is he though?

How many PhDs

does Hulk have? Zero.

How many PhDs does Banner have?

Seven.

Fine, you don't have to fight anyone.

But we're in danger here,

so we have to move.

What are you doing with that?

I need a disguise. I'm a fugitive.

- I need a disguise.

- You are the disguise.

- I'll be Tony Stark.

- What?

Yeah. Tony and the gypsy.

No, no, you're not Tony.

You're Bruce. Bruce Banner.

Then why did you dress me up

like Tony?

Because you were naked.

Okay, I'll give you that.

What are you doing?

Stop doing that!

Tony wears his pants super tight.

- Stop it!

- I'm sorry.

- Why are you being so weird?

- I don't know.

Maybe the fact that I was trapped

for two years

inside of a monster

made me a little weird.

Hey. It's okay.

You're good. Calm down. Come on.

Listen, we're gonna go to Asgard

and you're not gonna have to think about

the Hulk ever again. All right?

All right.

This is bad.

Banner! Banner!

Banner!

Banner!

Thor!

Hi.

Hi.

I was gonna do that.

Yeah, well, I did it first.

That's good. What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I thought you were leaving.

I got sidetracked.

What's with the...

It's my disguise.

But I can see your face.

Not when I do this, you can't.

Your hair looks nice. I like what you did

with it. Change it? Washed it maybe?

What are those things on her eyes?

Are those people that she's killed?

She's so beautiful and strong

and courageous.

Who is this guy?

- He's a friend.

- Who? Me?

- I'm Bruce.

- I feel like I know you.

I feel like I know you, too.

Look, I've spent years in a haze,

trying to forget my past.

Sakaar seemed like the best place

to drink and forget, and to die one day.

I was thinking that you drink too much,

and that probably was gonna kill you.

I don't plan to stop drinking.

But I don't wanna forget.

I can't turn away anymore,

so if I'm gonna die,

well, it may as well be driving my sword

through the heart of that murderous hag.

- Good.

- Yeah.

So, I'm saying

that I wanna be on the team.

Has it got a name?

Yeah, it's called the Revengers.

Revengers?

Because I'm getting revenge.

You're getting revenge.

Do you want revenge?

I'm undecided.

Okay.

Also, I've got a peace offering.

Surprise.

Just had to be sure.

Hello, Bruce.

So, last time I saw you,

you were trying to kill everybody.

Where are you at these days?

It varies from moment to moment.

Is that a Dragonfang?

It is.

My God.

This is the famed sword of the Valkyrie.

So, Sakaar and Asgard are about as far

apart as any two known systems.

Our best bet is a wormhole

just outside of city limits.

Refuel on Xandar, and

we can be back in Asgard in 18 months.

Nope. We are going through the big one.

The Devil's Anus?

Anus?

Wait, wait, wait. Whose anus?

For the record, I didn't know

it was called that when I picked it.

That looks like

a collapsing neutron star

inside of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge.

We need another ship.

That will tear mine to pieces.

She's right. We need one that can

withstand the geodetic strain

from the singularity.

And has an offline

power steering system

that could also function

without the on board computer.

And we need one with cup holders,

because we're gonna die. So, drinks!

Do I know you? I feel like I know you.

I feel like I know you, too. It's weird.

What do you say?

Uncharted metagalactic travel

through a volatile cosmic gateway.

Talk about an adventure.

- We need a ship.

- Need a ship.

There are one or two ships.

Absolute top of the line models...

I don't mean to impose...

But the Grandmaster

has a great many ships.

I may even have stolen the access codes

to his security system.

And suddenly you're overcome

with an urge to do the right thing.

Heavens, no.

I've run out of favor

with the Grandmaster,

and in exchange for codes

and access to a ship,

I'm asking for safe passage

through the Anus.

You're telling us that you can get us

access into the garage

without setting off any alarms?

Yes, brother. I can.

Okay, can I just... A quick FYI.

I was just talking to him

just a couple minutes ago

and he was totally ready

to kill any of us.

He did try to kill me.

Yes, me too. On many, many occasions.

There was one time

when we were children,

he transformed himself into a snake,

and he knows that I love snakes.

So, I went to pick up the snake

to admire it,

and he transformed back into himself

and he was like, "Yeah, it's me!"

And he stabbed me.

We were eight at the time.

If we're boosting a ship

we're gonna need to draw some guards

away from the palace.

Why not set the beast loose?

Shut up.

You guys have a beast?

No, there's no beast.

He's just being stupid.

We're going to start a revolution.

- Revolution?

- I'll explain later.

- Who's this guy again?

- I'll explain later.

Is that some sort of protoplasm,

all the stuff that's coming out of you,

or are they eggs?

Looks like eggs.

I'm looking for Korg.

Who's asking?

I know you're asking.

Is there anyone else asking,

or is it just you?

The Lord of Thunder sends his best.

The revolution has begun.

Revolution? How did this happen?

Don't know.

But the arena's mainframe for the

Obedience Disks have been deactivated

and the slaves have armed themselves.

I don't like that word.

Which? Mainframe?

No. Why would I not like "mainframe"?

No, the "S" word.

Sorry, the prisoners with jobs

have armed themselves.

Okay, that's better.

Hey, so, listen. We should talk.

I disagree.

Open communication

was never our family's forte.

You have no idea.

Been quite the revelation

since we last spoke.

Hello.

Hi.

Odin brought us together.

It's almost poetic that his death

should split us apart.

We might as well be strangers now.

Two sons of the crown, set adrift.

Thought you didn't wanna talk about it.

Here's the thing.

I'm probably better off staying here

on Sakaar.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

Did you just agree with me?

Come on, this place is perfect for you.

It's savage, chaotic, lawless...

Brother, you're gonna do great here.

Do you truly think so little of me?

Loki, I thought the world of you.

I thought we were gonna fight

side by side forever.

But at the end of the day,

you're you and I'm me.

I don't know,

maybe there's still good in you.

But let's be honest,

our paths diverged a long time ago.

Yeah.

It's probably for the best

that we never see each other again.

It's what you always wanted.

Hey, let's do "Get Help."

- What?

#VALUE!

No.

- Come on, you love it.

- I hate it.

- It's great. It works every time.

- It's humiliating.

- Do you have a better plan?

- No.

We're doing it.

We are not doing "Get Help."

Get help! Please!

My brother, he's dying.

Get help! Help him!

Classic.

Still hate it.

- It's humiliating.

- Not for me, it's not.

Now, which one's the ship

she told us to get?

The Commodore.

Right.

Though I feel it won't make

much of a difference.

Loki.

I know I've betrayed you many times

before,

but this time

it's truly nothing personal.

The reward for your capture

will set me up nicely.

Never one for sentiment, were you?

Easier to let it burn.

I agree.

That looks painful.

Dear brother,

you're becoming predictable.

I trust you, you betray me.

Round and round in circles we go.

See, Loki, life is about...

It's about growth.

It's about change.

But you seem to

just wanna stay the same.

I guess what I'm trying to say

is that you'll always be

the God of Mischief,

but you could be more.

I'll just put this over here for you.

Anyway, all got places to be,

so good luck.

All right, I can figure this out.

It's just another spaceship.

Loyal Sakaarians,

Lord of Thunder has stolen my ship

and my favorite champion.

Sakaarians, take to the skies.

Bring him down.

Do not let him leave this planet.

- Good shot!

- Thanks.

Open the doors.

Okay.

I hope that you're tougher

than you look.

Why?

Shouldn't we be shooting back

or something?

Yes, we should.

Where are the guns on this ship?

There aren't any.

- It's a leisure vessel.

- What?

Grandmaster uses it for his good times,

orgies and stuff.

Did she just say the Grandmaster

uses it for orgies?

Yeah.

Don't touch anything.

No!

- No!

- No!

Get inside!

In a minute.

I should probably go and help.

Here, take the wheel.

No. I don't know

how to fly one of these.

You're a scientist.

Use one of your PhDs.

None of them are for flying

alien spaceships!

Okay, come on.

There's gotta be a gun on this thing.

That looks like a gun.

It's my birthday

It's my birthday

It's my birthday

Yeah!

Guys, we're coming up

on the Devil's Anus!

There she is.

Our ticket out of here.

Hey, what's this?

Thank you.

Hey, man. We're about to jump

on that ginormous spaceship.

You wanna come?

You do seem like you're

in desperate need of leadership.

Why, thank you.

Here we go.

Shit.

Asgardians...

Some misguided soul

has stolen the Bifrost sword.

Tell us where it is

or there will be consequences.

Bad ones.

Well?

You.

Well? Executioner?

Wait!

Wait!

I know where the sword is.

I never thought I'd be back here.

I thought it'd be a lot nicer.

I mean, not that it's not nice.

It's just, it's on fire.

Here, up here in the mountains.

Heat signatures.

People clustered together.

She's coming for them.

Okay, drop me off at the palace

and I'll draw her away.

And get yourself killed?

The people trapped down there

are all that matters.

While I'm dealing with Hela, I need you

two to help get everyone off Asgard.

How the hell are we supposed to do that?

I have a man on the ground.

Asgard.

She's here.

Now the ship has a gun.

I'll take it from here.

I found this in the armory.

Good luck.

Your Majesty...

Don't die.

You know what I mean.

We must keep moving!

Go to the Bifrost!

Sister.

You're still alive.

I love what you've done with the place.

Redecorating, I see.

It seems our father's solution

to every problem was to cover it up.

Or to cast it out.

He told you you were worthy.

He said the same thing to me.

You see?

You never knew him.

Not at his best.

Odin and I drowned entire civilizations

in blood and tears.

Where do you think all this gold

came from?

And then, one day,

he decided to become a benevolent king.

To foster peace, to protect life.

To have you.

I understand why you're angry.

And you are my sister, and technically

have a claim to the throne.

And believe me, I would love

for someone else to rule.

But it can't be you.

You're just the worst.

Okay, get up.

You're in my seat.

You know, Father once told me

that a wise king never seeks out war.

But must always be ready for it.

Go back!

Go!

To be honest, I expected more.

Heimdall!

The sword!

Here's the difference between us.

I'm Odin's firstborn,

the rightful heir, the savior of Asgard.

And you're nothing.

So simple,

even a blind man could see it.

Now you remind me of Dad.

The stupid dog won't die!

Everything's gonna be all right now.

I got this.

You wanted to know who I am?

What the hell are you talking about?

You'll see!

You see? No one's going anywhere.

I'll get that sword,

even if I have to kill every

single one of them to do it.

Hey, man.

I'm Korg. This is Miek.

We're gonna jump on that spaceship

and get out of here. Wanna come?

Your savior is here.

Did you miss me?

Everyone, on that ship now.

Welcome home. I saw you coming.

Of course you did.

It's a valiant effort,

but you never stood a chance.

You see...

I'm not a queen or a monster.

I'm the Goddess of Death.

What were you the god of, again?

Even when you had two eyes,

you'd see only half the picture.

She's too strong.

Without my hammer, I can't.

Are you Thor, the God of Hammers?

That hammer was to help you

control your power, to focus it.

It was never your source of strength.

It's too late.

She's already taken Asgard.

Asgard is not a place. Never was.

This could be Asgard.

Asgard is where our people stand.

Even now, right now,

those people need your help.

I'm not as strong as you.

No...

You're stronger.

Tell me, brother.

What were you the god of, again?

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- You're late.

- You're missing an eye.

This isn't over.

I think we should disband the Revengers.

Hit her with a lightning blast.

I just hit her with the biggest lightning

blast in the history of lightning.

It did nothing.

We just need to hold her off

until everyone's on board.

It won't end there.

The longer Hela's on Asgard,

the more powerful she grows.

She'll hunt us down.

We need to stop her here and now.

So what do we do?

I'm not doing "Get Help."

Asgard's not a place, it's a people.

Loki,

this was never about stopping Ragnarok.

This was about causing Ragnarok.

Surtur's crown, the vault.

It's the only way.

Bold move, brother.

Even for me.

Shall we?

After you.

This is madness.

Go! Go, now!

For Asgard.

Hela!

With the Eternal Flame, you are reborn.

Hela, enough!

You want Asgard, it's yours.

Whatever game you're playing,

it won't work.

You can't defeat me.

No, I know.

But he can.

No.

Tremble before me, Asgard!

I am your reckoning!

The people are safe.

That's all that matters.

We're fulfilling the prophecy.

I hate this prophecy.

So do I, but we have no choice.

Surtur destroys Asgard,

he destroys Hela,

so that our people may live.

But we need to let him finish the job,

otherwise...

No!

Hulk, stop, you moron!

Hulk, stop.

Just for once in your life, don't smash.

Big monster!

Let's go!

Fine.

I am Asgard's doom!

The damage is not too bad.

As long as the foundations

are still strong,

we can rebuild this place.

It will become a haven

for all peoples and aliens

of the universe.

Now those foundations are gone. Sorry.

What have I done?

You saved us from extinction.

Asgard is not a place...

It's a people.

It suits you.

Maybe you're not so bad after all,

brother.

Maybe not.

Thank you.

If you were here,

I might even give you a hug.

I'm here.

Your throne.

So, King of Asgard.

Where to?

I'm not sure.

Any suggestions?

Miek, where are you from?

Miek's dead.

Yeah, no, I accidentally stomped on him

on the bridge.

I've just felt so guilty,

I've been carrying him around all day.

Miek, you're alive!

He's alive, guys.

What was your question again, bro?

Earth it is.

Do you really think it's a good idea

to go back to Earth?

Yes, of course. The people of Earth

love me. I'm very popular.

Let me rephrase that.

Do you really think it's a good idea

to bring me back to Earth?

Probably not, to be honest.

I wouldn't worry, brother. I feel like

everything's gonna work out fine.

Oh, boy.

I just gotta say, I'm proud of you all.

This revolution has been

a huge success. Yay, us!

Pat on the back.

Pat on the back.

Come on. No?

Me too.

'Cause I've been a big part of it.

Can't have a revolution

without somebody to overthrow.

So, you're welcome.

And it's a tie.